gochelseaelaine: Sometimes I get too caught up...

Sometimes I get too caught up in the “doing.”
“What am I working on?
What have I accomplished today?
Was I able to check everything off of my to-do list?
Has any of it made a difference in my community?
Am I doing enough?”
What I “do” and my work defines a big part of who I am. If a day goes by and I didn’t get to give that health talk or I’m not working on the next lesson, program, or document, I’m not satisfied. If I’m not busy, I’m not fulfilled.
In a village that operates at a different pace and style than what I’m used to, often meaning unexpected visitors and invasion of my work time, personal time, and space, I’ve had to take a new look at myself, my expectations, and how I find value in my days.
And in those unexpected visits that make me stop working, there is something much more fulfilling and much more important. There’s the human experience of someone coming by because we both need the company. Of sharing the silence and space as she works on her homework. Of laughing over burnt pancakes and explaining all of the weird and interesting American things in my pantry.
So much of what being here means isn’t about what I accomplish. It’s the people, relationships, and experiences outside of the work itself that are the things that matter.
I’ll still have my to-do list. Still have my lessons to plan and programs to manage. But. I’m working on it.
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